In December 2022, I wrote a blog entitled A Time to Invest in Our Healing: 2023. For the past several years I have been less active on this platform for various personal reasons, one being that I have been investing in my healing.

I took a deep dive into psychotherapy and spirituality, especially into Chassidic spiritual philosophy. I also took on a new, temporary, yet full-time job as assistant general contractor in charge of a complete home renovation—our home of 25 years.

Writing Again

I am currently writing this blog sitting in my new sacred space feeling grateful and blessed to have finally arrived at this moment in time, a moment that for so long felt distant and at times unattainable.

As far as my healing goes, it is certainly an ongoing commitment. Healing is always a process and growth, a lifelong journey. However, what I am noticing currently is a deep desire to integrate and live into the practices that feel best for me. I am witnessing a shift in priority from understanding concepts and wanting to speak and write about them, to experiencing them myself in real time.

My Healing Journey

As I sit back and reflect, I can now name with confidence the three things that have helped me most over the past few years: First is my deep connection with my Sacred Partner and Divine Co-Creator, with a God who lives within me and travels beside me, always, as my trusting co-pilot. Second, my deep connection with my husband, children, family and friends, who offer unconditional love and meaningful shared life experiences.

Third is my deep desire to experience life more fully, as it is sometimes said, “To squeeze the juice out of life.” I believe this core passion has been uncovered and rediscovered with the help of a daily low dose of Cymbalta (an anxiety medication) paired with my daily practice of IFS, Internal Family Systems. (A therapeutic intervention that helps people to heal by teaching them how to listen inside themselves in a new way to their different “parts”—voices, feelings, or thoughts, and in so doing, “unburdening” themselves of extreme beliefs, emotions, sensations and urges that limit their lives: A MUST STUDY FOR EVERY CHILD & ADULT)

With an improved understanding and awareness around ALL my PARTS (fear & anxiety, sadness and grief, joy, shame, anger…) I am better able to acknowledge them, listen to them, have compassion for them, and lead them. 

After watching Inside Out 2 (A MUST-SEE MOVIE FOR EVERY CHILD & ADULT) many people have approached me saying, “This movie was made specifically for you and about you.” Perhaps this is why I cried through much of the second half of the movie. It truly resonated with me. Being with my “internal family” and conversing with my parts has become my all-time favorite, go-to practice.

Project Home Renovation

Alongside my internal renovation came an external one. Acting as assistant general contractor for a full home renovation was both exhausting and exhilarating. More importantly, it offered me immense purpose. Although I was taking time off from my career, I was nurturing those parts of me that love to organize, declutter, lead, design and create. At the same time, I was also leading my fearful and anxious parts into healthier roles and spaces.

At one time there was a part of me that thought this project felt impossible. Yet, there was also another part that trusted with the right team it could be possible, doable, and even exciting. Getting curious and wanting to hear from all my parts allowed me to be open and negotiable. Thankfully, we decided to move ahead with our project home renovation and are so grateful to be back home enjoying our new space, with its peaceful and refreshing new energy.

Summer

I used to think that “true” healing was very specific and the result of hard work and discipline. Now I am seeing that healing can also be organic and comes from living into new experiences that can be as simple as reading a memoir, cuddling with a beloved grand-dog, or enjoying a latte while walking in nature with a loved one.

The warm summer weather has offered me the opportunity to live into these daily walks and to also prioritize my physical healing. It took my waking up with a fractured toe (no noted trauma) to realize the absolute gift of walking, especially near water and immersed in nature, which feels by far the most soothing, grounding, and spiritually cleansing. Nature therapy, otherwise known as “forest bathing,” is a practice that uses nature to improve mental and physical health. It increases my daily step count and uplifts my soul.

For Good

Life will “happen,” because it always does. Unfortunately, this is more apparent today then we would like, evident in the global chaos and division as well as in our personal existential angst. And, yes, many of our parts are screaming, including fear, anger, and even terror. But slowly, over time, I trust that we will learn how to recognize the different voices that reside within us so we can guide them, and they (our parts, also known as our inner children) will learn how to trust in us and follow our lead.

Although my external environment has changed with my home renovation, many other external factors and my internal parts have remained the same.

This is my internal family—always has been and always will be. This is ALL of me. It is who I am and I am forever grateful.

So yes, same parts, but not at all the same experience. I am experiencing life in a new way because I am relating to my parts in a new way. We are now friends.

As Glinda says to Elphaba in the beautiful song For Good from WICKED: A MUST-SEE PLAY FOR EVERY CHILD & ADULT.

I do believe I have been changed for the better
And
Because I knew you
I have been changed
For good

Because I know my parts
I have been changed
For good

Same parts—different experience…is something we can all lean into.

I feel compelled to serve in this mission, so please let me know if and how I can help.

Sincerely,
Coach Terri